John

My husband John passed away on April 18th after battling cancer for almost 3 years. He was surrounded by friends and family and went very peacefully and without any pain. Thanks to everyone for all the love and support!







You will be missed!

John wanted donations to be made to Stand up to Cancer.

Tap tap... this thing on?

It's been a month since I've last posted! I can't believe how quickly time has gotten away from me. All I can say is - I've been working long hours. It's no excuse - but it's all I've got.

John has also started chemo again - he's done 2 rounds and has 8 more to go. He's been extremely tired and it's very frustrating to watch him go through this again. Those of you who read his blog know the details - but in a nutshell - there is still some cancer in his liver. Luckily his colon and entire digestive track is still clear. We just have to get the little suckers still in his liver.

So anyway - I'm doing ok other than my frustrations that I can't do anything to help John feel better. I have been keeping busy - working maybe a little too much though!!

I've been doing some knitting here and there also. Right now I am working on the Shetland triangle. I'm knitting it with the orange handspun I just finished. I'm loving it! I have one more repeat to go before the border. Pictures soon!

I also have new drawings to share! These are my latest sketches for the sketchbook swap.

Giraffes...



Light as a Feather...




Just Hanging Around...




Birds on a Wire...




Coi pond...



Thanks for stopping by!!!

Weekend Light

Saturday night I joined my good friend Jolene and her family at the lakefront for Light the Night - a walk to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. This cause is definitley near and dear to my heart. My Dad is a Lymphoma survivor and Jolene's daughter, Samantha, is a Leukemia survivor. This yearly event is a chance to celebrate their life and remember those who are no longer with us.

It was a beautiful day! We had a wondeful time before the walk looking at the lake and taking pictures.





Here is Samantha getting her banner ready for the big event...


The colors were just amazing that day! The trees were golden and reflected perfectly in the lake.




Samantha looks beautiful next to these golden mums...



Here's Samantha's little sis! Isn't she the cutest!



and her little bro (my boyfriend) was flirting as usual...



At dusk - the walk started!



I just love the glow of the balloons in the darkness.




After the walk - we had hotdogs and chips and then went back to Jolene's place for yummy pumpkin muffins. It was such a great night!

Thank God it's Friday!

I can't tell you how happy I am it's the weekend! I had a rough week (or two). I spent the majority of last week sitting in the hospital with hubby. I wasn't sure I wanted to share this edition of John's illness until I knew he was better. It really shook me up.

Last Wednesday I had to take John to the ER for severe stomach cramping and vomiting. He ended up being admitted and getting a million tests done. At first they though he had a blocked or twisted bowel - which is quite serious, especially for a chemo patient. If it had been a twisted or blocked bowel, he would have needed emergency surgery. Receovery from surgery while undergoing chemo is tough to say the least.

Thankfully it wasn't a twisted bowel or a blockage, but just an infection of the small bowel. Two different antibiotic drips, two anti-nausea drips, two pain med drips, three CT scans, countless blood and urine tests and 5 days of hospital bed rest later, he was ok with the exception of a hernia that he developed from all the vomiting! Luckily as well - the doctors think this will go away on it's own since it is a fluid hernia and not a tissue hernia.

I hate hospitals by the way. I highly recommend you don't ever have to stay at one for a prolonged time. My back still hurts from sitting in the uncomfortable chairs! And don't get me started on hospital cafeteria food. I did get a lot of knitting done - which is a huge reason I was able to knit my Olympic Lady Sweater in record time!

I've been rather depressed this week seeing John in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. Big thank yous to my friends for sending lots of love, emails and phone calls to keep me going. I couldn't do it with out you! I love you guys.



Happy Friday!

John's Quilt

The day after we found out John had cancer, I decided to make him a quilt to use during his treatment and stay at the hospital.

I had big plans to give it to him on his first day of chemo and radiation.... well... it ended up taking me a little longer than I thought to complete it. John is now on his 4th week of radiation - but it's finally done!

I started by stitching together about 40 squares and mailing them off around the country to his family and friends. I had everything planned... except I didn't plan on how long it would take to get them all back!

I finally had to give up on some people and I ended up with 32 squares. 32 squares of personal messages, prayers, drawings and signatures for John keep near him and to help him through his cancer treatment. I gave it to him for his birthday on Friday.

When he opened the package - his first words were, "It's a blanket. Thanks."
I had folded it wrong side up - so he couldn't immediately see that it was a quilt. So I said, "why don't you open the blanket."

When he finally gets the clue... he opens it and finds the quilt.




I was so nervous! I wasn't sure if he would like it... he doesn't really like quilts - but he loved it!



He was so touched by everything his friends and family wrote. It is such a wonderful expression of love.

Here's the entire piece:



(A little head kept getting in my way while I was trying to take this photo!)




Here's the square I made:




and a few of my favorites:




I tied the quilt instead of hand or machine sewing (deadlines!) and I used a technique where the ties are on the back of the quilt and the front looks like x's. I really like the way it came out. Here's the back - showing all the little ties.



Thanks to everyone who contributed to this and special thanks to Jolene and my mother in law for helping me finish the sewing! It's definitely going to be well used and well loved.

We lit the night!

Saturday was an awesome day. My friend Sarah came to town for a visit!!


AND..

We got to celebrate with our friend Jolene at her daughter's "Off Chemo" party! It was a perfect day - the sun was shining and the kids were running around having fun. I am very honored to be a part of their lives.

After the party - we all headed over to the lake for the Light the Night walk. It's a walk that benefits people with Leukemia & Lymphoma. My friend's daughter had leukemia and my dad had lymphoma - so I was walking for both of them.



Seeing the balloons all lit up was just amazing.

It was a great day!

We're Still Smiling!

A HUGE thank you to everyone who commented, emailed and called in the past weeks. It means so much to John to I!! We feel so loved :)

We are trying to stay very positive and we're definitely still smiling.... (and acting goofy as you can see here)




These pictures were taken by a friend last Sunday at a party for one of my co-worker's daughter's Voneelu.

If are you aren't familiar with this Indian tradition - it's very much like a Jewish Bat Mitzvah. The dancing, clothes, music and food were amazing! I wish I could have take home the beautiful saris that the women wore!

Here is a very small taste of what we saw:








***Edited to add - Go check out my awesome friend Amie's blog!! She is doing a walk to raise money for Colo-rectal cancer in support of John and others. I'll be walking with her too - so go donate a few bucks! Thanks Amie!!


Have a great long weekend!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming....

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming....for an important announcement.
Sorry for my long absence from blogging. I've been busy...

How do I say this?

How you say your husband has cancer.... that I'm afraid he may die.... that he is definitely going be very very sick for a very long time.

I don’t know how to do this. I don’t how to react – tears and sobbing and prayer were my first response. Anger, regret and fear came soon after. Now, (10 days later) I'm stronger and even more determined to fight the F**ing cancer with every ounce of my being.

He’s not Javaman or Hubbo to me – he’s my Sweets, my John. He’s a romantic, car crazy, hot sauce loving, joke telling, electronic tinkering, amazing guy. He can fix almost anything.... except himself.

We found out 10 days ago that he has colon cancer, and I’m petrified. I’m scared of losing my best friend.

I don't usually get too personal on this blog, but I felt like I had to share this information. I will still keep this blog mainly as a place to post my knitting, sewing and spinning, but I may occasionally have some long absences from posts as John goes through his treatment.

We do have a tentative schedule:

5 weeks of Chemo and radiation followed by 4-6 weeks of rest.
Surgery to remove the tumor in his colon - followed by another 4-6 weeks of rest.
The chemo and radiation may then begin again - hopefully shrinking and killing all the cancer in his body.

I want thank all of my awesome friends who have already helped more than they can ever know by just being there, listening to me cry and holding my hand. I am going to need you guys more than ever - so thank you for being so great!!


If you are interested in reading more about my husband John, he has started a blog of his own to record his experiences fighting cancer.

Another name that John, Sweets, Javajman goes by is 'Sco'. So.... he called his blog 'Sco got a bug'. That's just his way. Making jokes... the first minute after we heard the news - he was cracking jokes. Granted - he was also stoned from the colonoscopy, but still... You'll see plenty of his humor if you read some of his posts.

Thanks again to my wonderful friends - I won't be able to get through it without you!